Hero of Hope: Nicole Tarzia

On Saturday December 28th, Nicole Tarzia, Ms. Wheelchair Massachusetts 2013, gave us over an hour of her time to get to know her. Check out our exclusive interview below to meet Nicole and learn about everything from her favorite song to how it felt to win the Ms. Wheelchair MA crown!

MFM: Can you give us a little background about yourself?

Nicole: I was born 28 weeks premature and was diagnosed with quadriplegic spastic cerebral palsy at 6 months old. The doctors told my parents I would never walk, talk, sit up, or have an IQ above 50 but my parents refused to believe that. They committed to doing everything in their power to help me live as independently as possible. As one example, I was the first person in my elementary school to have a physical disability, and my parents fought tooth and nail to make it happen. The school wasn’t handicap accessible so they built a ramp in the back by the boiler room so I could get into the school.

Nicole in a Populi Plus AdMy mom decided she wanted to put me in all different kinds of activities to find out who I was and what was important to me. I was in drama, I rode horsebacks for 9 years, and I modeled since I was 9 years old. I really enjoyed the modeling and have been doing that now for years. Recently, one of my friends opened up a chain of handbag stores in Indonesia, called Populi Plus, and has me as a cover model for her handbag stores. Disabilities aren’t necessarily accepted in Indonesia and she wanted me to prove that disabilities are beautiful and cannot stop you from living your life. My friend is breaking down stereotypes and I love being a part of that and taking this message globally.

On top of that, I graduated from Bridgewater State University, have a Masters in Clinical Therapy from Simmons, and will be starting my PhD in School Adjustment Counseling in July 2014 at UMASS Boston. I also own two businesses so I definitely keep myself pretty busy.

This is normal, and this is me. My father always said, “let them see Nicole first and the disability second. I had high expectations for myself and, with a disability or with out, this is how I would be living my life.

MFM: You’re currently Ms. Wheelchair Massachusetts 2013, can you tell us about the competition?

Nicole: Ms. Wheelchair Massachusetts is an advocacy program for individuals between 21-60 and, unlike in traditional beauty pageants, you’re judged completely on your accomplishments and on your ability to advocate for people with disabilities. My platform that I ran on is “Advocate, Educate, Empower.” Essentially, it’s about teaching everyone to understand and not fear disabilities. Having a disability is all about dialogue; I want kids especially to not fear a disability and to have a chance to ask questions and see the things I can do every day that they do. 

In July, I competed for Ms. Wheelchair America and came in second runner up out of 28 girls from all around the country. Ms. Wheelchair has changed my life because it has taught me to be a better advocate and understand other peoples’ disabilities and not just my own. It taught me how to be a voice for people who might not vocalize their needs and wants themselves. I’ve been able to speak to everyone from children in schools to politicians in government offices and spread awareness about disabilities. It’s been an incredible experience.  

Nicole with Little Ms. Wheelchair MassachusettsThe story of how I got involved with Ms. Wheelchair begins with my grandfather, Knute. My grandfather, who was literally my best friend growing up, had meningitis and was in a wheelchair for 3 years. He was my confidante. With him, I could talk about my disability without fear or judgment. From a very young age, he would tell me, “you were given a disability for a reason and you have a gift… you have a personality to advocate for others.”

I’ve always wanted to live my legacy for him and everything I do is in his spirit. When my rehab tech told me of the competition, I thought grandpa would have wanted me to do it; he would tell me it’s my way to show the world everything he taught me. I won the title for myself and I won it for him too. At my last event in November, I spoke to the 10^th graders at Holy Family School in Rockland, the church my grandparents attended. I felt like I was coming back full circle…that I had honored them and what they had taught me.

MFM: How did it feel to win the crown?

Nicole: It was surreal. I really went in there not expecting to win at all. I had competed in pageants in the past, but I knew this was a different ballgame since I was being judged purely on my accomplishments and there are a ton of women out there doing amazing things.

When they announced my name, I was waiting for the girl to go up and get the crown and they were like no it’s you! The look on my face was pure shock. It was one of the most memorable moments of my life that I will never forget. It was an awesome feeling to think that for the next year I can be the voice and the advocate. Even when I give up this crown this year, it will definitely be sad, but my advocacy will continue. This year has been unforgettable and has changed my life and I’ll cherish every moment and person I’ve met along the way.  

MFM: What is one of the biggest challenges you have faced and how did you overcome it? 

Nicole: Well, I don’t like being told no and I don’t like being told that I can’t do something. I have a full belief that you can overcome anything in life with a little bit of adaptation. When I was young, I saw the Ms. America beauty pageants on TV and I told my mom that’s what I wanted to do. My mom said, “Okay, if that’s what you want to do, we’re going to do it.” My mom sent around a few headshots of me, not showing my wheelchair, to pageants and we got callbacks asking me to participate. They told my mom I was gorgeous and they would love to have me, but when my mom mentioned that I had a disability, they said “absolutely not!” The first 2 places said, “she cant talk or walk like the other girls, she can’t compete with them because it won’t be a fair playing field for her, there’s no way it’s going to happen.” When my mom told me, she asked if I wanted to keep trying and I said absolutely. We kept going and going until we found a place that said, “yes, a disability is not a big deal at all.” I went on to compete in almost 200 pageants and got some sort of award in about 86 of them.

My ability to overcome has come from the fact that I don’t want to be told no. I will be told there is not a way right now, but we will find a way.

MFM: What advice would you give someone who has sustained a traumatic injury?

Nicole: My biggest advice is to find a support person. I have a family and friends that are fantastic. I actively surround myself with people who support me. I have my days where my disability wears on me and I think “why me?” but I’m lucky enough to have a really, really strong support system. They’re people that love me and will accept me on my worst days, my best days, and every day in between. If you isolate yourself and don’t allow people to be there for you, you’ll cut yourself off from the world.

My older brother is my rock and he is literally the one person I go to with everything. He will never get sick of giving me brotherly advice and I think that’s what everyone with a disability needs. It doesn’t matter how strong you are on your own. Sometimes I have a really bad day and I need someone to vent to and other times I have a really awesome day and need someone to share that with. I am lucky that my support person is within my family, but they don’t have to be. It can be some one you work with, go to school with, a childhood friend, and so on. It might be someone who also has a disability and knows exactly what you’re going through, or it might be someone without a disability at all. There are no limits to who it’s going to be and you might even find them in the places you least expected.

MFM: Who is your Hero of Hope and how has he/she impacted you?

Nicole with her grandfather, KnuteNicole: Although he’s no longer with us, my grandfather I mentioned before remains a very strong influence. He was my best friend in the entire world. I could talk to him about nothing and everything all at the same time. He taught me so much about life and about myself. He taught me to not let the horrible days get me down, to always be thankful for everything I have.  He said that you’re not going to be given a disability if you’re not strong enough to handle it, and that I am definitely a strong enough person to handle it. He is my hero in a lot of different ways…he was a mentor, a role model, and, first and foremost, an awesome grandfather. I can even see pieces of my grandfather in my brother. A lot of the advice my brother gives me is exactly what my grandfather would have said, that’s one way I can still feel him here with me.

Nicole and her memorial tattoo for her grandfather

One of the first things I did when I got crowned was to go put my crown and sash on his gravestone; I told him that my accomplishments in this world are for him. As crazy as it might sound, I honestly still talk to him… before I speak at an event, I say a prayer to him and ask him to help me give those I’m speaking to the same strength and wisdom he gave me. That’s what keeps me going. No matter what I do I take a little piece of him with me. I have his wedding ring on a necklace, which I wore for the Ms.Wheelchair America Competition, and I have a memorial tattoo for him on my wrist, which I look down at whenever I need strength.

MFM: Now for our Lightning Round, we’ll ask you a few quick questions and you can come back at us with quick answers, ready? What’s your success quote? 

Nicole: “I concentrate on the 10,000 things that I can do and not the 10,000 things I can’t.”

-Knute, my grandfather.

MFM: What is your favorite food?

Nicole: I’m Italian so it’s raviolis for sure.

MFM: What book would you recommend for us?

Nicole: “Willie the Wheelchair,” by Remon Jourdan. My platform revolves around children and this is a children’s book I’ve probably read about 19 times since I won Ms. Wheelchair MA and have never gotten sick of. It’s about a wheelchair that realizes he’s different from the other chairs and it’s such a great book about acceptance. I actually got to meet Remon recently in Boston and he signed a book for me. Honestly, I cried like a baby for at least 5 minutes, I was meeting my hero! Remon is one of those people who I have been able to look up to; he’s helped me see that having a disability is something to be proud of and something I can overcome.

Nicole and her big brother ScottMFM: What song is most played on your iTunes?

Nicole: Well, I am actually in the process of learning Spanish so I listen to a lot of Spanish music. One song I listen to a lot is “Corzon Sin Cara,” by Prince Royce.  It has a great message about understanding who you are and that beauty is much more than skin deep. I think I annoy my friends and family with it because I play it over and over and it’s even a ring tone I use for an alarm on my phone! They all knock the song and laugh at the way I try to roll my R’s but it’s still one of my favorites! But I guess I do have to admit, it really does sound like I’m choking on popcorn when I try to roll my R’s!

MFM: Finally, what’s the best way for our readers to get in contact with you?

Nicole: They can email me at mswheelchairmass13@gmail.com, Facebook me, or call me at 781-826-3565. Anyone who wants to, please reach out anytime!