Hero of Hope: Rosa Colon

 

Thank you to Rosa Colon, Ms. Wheelchair Massachusetts 2014, for taking the time to share her inspiring story with us! On August 4th, Rosa will be traveling to Long Beach, California to represent her home state in the national competition. Click here to visit the Ms. Wheelchair MA Facebook page and wish her luck!

MFM: Can you give us a little background about yourself?

Rosa: I have been working with the Trial Court of Massachusetts since 1993. I was a probation officer for a year and in 1994 I was appointed as an Assistant Clerk Magistrate for the Boston Municipal Court, West Roxbury Division. I am still there working in that capacity and I absolutely love it. I love every second of it.  

After being appointed to this position, I had a 5 year goal of going to law school in the evening. On April Fools Day in 2000, while I was on my way to law school, I suffered my spinal cord injury. A tire blew out on my car, I couldn’t control the steering wheel, and the car rolled over. By the grace of God I’m still here.

The year following the accident, I underwent intense therapy and rehab at Spaulding and had to learn how to live as a wheelchair user. I admittedly wasn’t very athletic at all and I was pretty much forced to build strength. I started weightlifting and watching what I ate since I wanted to remain fit and healthy. I had to learn to be athletic.

After that year, I decided to go back to work. It was very difficult. I was afraid of how people were going to react. I wanted to show people I was still the same me. My fear was that they wouldn’t see me as the same Rosa because I was now a wheelchair user. I was afraid of rejection even though I knew I was still able to do my job from a wheelchair. I kept thinking about this during rehab and worrying how people would see me. And actually… all those worries were a waste of my time and caused unnecessary anxiety. When I went back to work, the love and support I received was incredible, overwhelming, and very emotional. I questioned, why did I even waste my time and stress worrying about how people would react? That was the easy part. The hardest part for me was that I was very comfortable in the able bodied world because I came from that world… as soon as people accepted me, then I continued my life, not admitting that I was a wheelchair user. I put it on the backburner and was in denial. I decided I could do anything possible by thinking I was still able bodied.

MFM: Was there a turning point in the denial? A moment where you embraced yourself as a wheelchair user?

Rosa: It was really when I finished law school. I was able to go to law school 3 nights a week, each time passing the scene of my accident where I nearly died, study hard, and graduate. These were hard things. If I can do all that, I asked myself, why can’t I start addressing that I am a wheelchair user? I realized that I was strong enough to learn to accept this. I didn’t have to still believe that I was an able bodied person walking around to succeed. I realized, in a lot of ways, I still am able bodied, the only thing that’s different is that I use a wheelchair to get around.

I had been approached a few times about running for Ms. Wheelchair Massachusetts but I didn’t embrace it right away. Finally after finishing law school, with my newfound strength, I started to look into it. Me running for Ms. Wheelchair really coincided with my acceptance of my wheelchair.

MFM: What was going through your mind during the Ms. Wheelchair MA competition? How did it feel to win?

Rosa: Even as I heard my name and people rushed toward me with flowers, a crown, and a sash… I didn’t have a clue what was happening. It happened so fast. I was like, why is everyone clapping? When it finally hit me that I had won, I became very emotional and started to cry. It was a big moment in my acceptance of myself as a wheelchair user. Ms. Wheelchair was sort of the key, the pathway in a sense linking me to other wheelchair users. In the years after my accident, I didn’t have all that many interactions with others in wheelchairs.

At the competition, I met the most beautiful, educated, passionate and confident women. They were so loving and supportive. We were all there for the same thing, to be Ms. Wheelchair MA, but I didn’t feel like it was a competition. It was more like we were a family hanging out all day long and getting to know one another, supporting and loving one another. It was a very positive experience.

MFM: What's your biggest goal for the next year as Ms. Wheelchair MA? 

Rosa: To educate. Being bilingual, I can serve two communities: the English speaking community and the Latino community. I want to spiritually move people and educate them that no matter what happens in life, no matter what disability you may have, you can still achieve anything you want. It’s not impossible. Si se puede. Yes, it can be done. It’s important that people, with disabilities and without, know that. No matter what storm you go through, no matter what challenge you face… fight! Life only gets better. Don’t let a wheelchair be an excuse, keep fighting. 

Society is pretty nice to people with disabilities but, as a wheelchair user, I found that it’s sometimes hard for able bodied people to see you as a fighter, to see that you can do everything they can and maybe even better. They tend to have a hard time understanding. I want to show that just because you’re a wheelchair user doesn’t mean that you stop living. If anything, it has empowered me to start living. I’ve gone through a lot but I’m strong. I have learned to be independent and have proved to myself that “I can do it.” “I AM IN A WHEELCHAIR IT’S NOT WHO I AM; IT’S JUST HOW I GET AROUND”.  That’s exactly what I want to tell people. 

MFM: That’s a powerful message. What has it been like so far sharing this with others? 

Rosa: Recently, I was on a show called Entre Amigos (Between Friends) on one of the national Latino channels. It’s a show where various people from the community get together and introduce themselves, talk about politics and share their stories. I was invited on the show to talk to the Latino community about life as a wheelchair user. It was very empowering.

Not a lot of Latinos knew about Ms. Wheelchair MA. They didn’t know we had these resources. They were also shocked that women and people in wheelchairs could accomplish so much. They were hungry to learn and many asked me, how can I be in touch with this? I was amazed, I felt like a big celebrity. Stories came out after the show where some people in similar situations didn’t know where to go, they didn’t know the resources, but they now felt empowered that there is, in fact, somewhere to turn.

I was also invited by the very committed and rousing President of the Massachusetts Chapter, Regla Gonzalez to speak at a League of United Latin American Citizens (LULAC) event.  It was dynamic, empowering and an inspirational moment for me.  I was given the floor and just spoke from the heart.  Many were crying…even men…but I was thrilled that I educated my audience that despite of an unfortunate and drastic change in my life, I am more than able to accomplish ALL that I wish to realize in my 26 inch rims. The Latino community was unaware that there is life beyond a wheelchair… that although you are a wheelchair user and a woman…you are still ALL women…Finally; many asked about resources…they were dumbfounded that many resources exist.  Seek…and you shall find!  I have never been welcome and hugged and kissed by mi jente at LULAC.  Regla Gonzalez is fierce and I admire her leadership.  I am thankful for the opportunity given to empower and educate through grace and dignity. 

MFM: After the accident, what was one of the biggest challenges you faced and how did you overcome it? 

Rosa: The biggest challenge was my divorce. Two years after my accident, I had a fairy tale wedding in Jamaica with my college sweetheart from BC. We’ve been together for 18 years.  About 7 years after our marriage I was abandoned and was forced live independently at home since he was almost never around; I decided I wasn’t going to take it any more and I filed for divorce. It was really hard… I had fights with myself and my thoughts in the middle of the night. Finally, I said, you know what… my life is being cleansed. I asked God to give me the strength to endure it, and he did. It brought be closer to God and strengthened my faith. God started helping me deal with my inside, my heart... and once I realized and understood what He was doing, I accepted it and I turned myself fully to him. I said, “Do as you will.” Because I gave myself fully to my faith, I was able to have a voice and I felt like a new person. This new Rosa was born. My faith helped me get through it all. 

MFM: What advice would you give someone who has sustained a traumatic injury? 

Rosa: It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to go through your bad days… we all have them. Go through your grieving process, but don’t stay stuck. You have a second chance in life and make the second chance the best ever. Stay connected with a Higher Power, keep yourself fit, do not allow yourself to detract. Stay positive as much as you can. Always be true to yourself, whatever is bothering you, deal with it and move on. Don’t let it build up. Don’t wait too long like I did to connect with other wheelchair users, you’ll meet the most beautiful people. And go share your story. You never know, it might be inspiring someone going through the same thing and they only needed to hear your words to have their emptiness filled… to see that they can do the impossible, to be able to say along with you, “Yes, you can. Si se puede.” 

MFM: Who is your Hero of Hope and how has he/she impacted you? 

Rosa: I definitely have to say that my mom is my rock- without my mother’s relentless support and unconditional love; I would not have reached all of my dreams.  I owe everything to this woman.  Rosita Maria Colón.  However, when I started watching the show “Push Girls”, I truly witnessed women who are wheelchair users doing the impossible. They are my Heroes of Hope. When I started watching them, especially Stephanie, it was amazing. I saw how she could jump from her wheelchair to a sofa or chair, or was at the gym and could jump from her chair to the workout equipment or lift up on one wheel and reach for a weight.

They empowered me so much that I started to look at my wheelchair differently. It still looked like it was sent straight from the hospital. I opened up to different colors and my wheels are now red. I started dressing and undressing my wheelchair and personalizing it. It’s my girlfriend now, we do everything together. I owe it to the Push Girls. The things they were able to do empowered me. They encouraged me that whatever my dreams are, chase them, realize them, and accomplish them. Accomplish anything your heart desires.

I went to the Abilities Expo in Boston last year and danced with Auti Angel, one of the Push Girls. It really helped me branch out. I decided I wanted to do the same things in my life too. 

MFM: What do you like to do in your free time?  

Rosa: Well I have my two nieces, ages 10 and 6, that I take care of. They’re my little daughters. I spend my free time with them and my family. Without them I can’t breathe, they’re like my oxygen! My priority is to make sure those girls and their best interests are met. 

MFM: Do you have a success quote? 

Rosa: “Mind over matter.” If you have a strong mind, no matter what the challenge is, it can be done. Mind over matter, it can be accomplished. I drilled it into the children in my family. They even have a little inside joke about it but they have said when times are tough for them, they think of me and my quote. They realize there’s no room for self pity and they persevere.  I have built BEASTS at home.  My nieces and nephews are always in a Beast Mode and I am truly proud that my test became a testimony that pushes everyone to the limit. 

MFM: What book would you recommend for us?

Rosa: I read this book a long time ago but it’s one of my favorites: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. The women in the Victorian era were beautiful but men tended to use and control them. When you compare that era to today, you can see how women have become more independent, more professional, and more aggressive in our needs and dreams that we’d like to realize. There’s a change, women have taken control of their lives. Jane Eyre reminds me how far women have come and how far we can go. When we put our mind to it we can get anything accomplished. I have a little logo on my wheelchair that says, “I fight on wheels, I fight in my heels.” I’m still a woman, I’m still feminine, and attractive in my own way. I like to be seen as a strong, powerful, beautiful woman – wheelchair user or not, that doesn’t change. I am not a princess….I am a warrior!

MFM: Favorite TV show?

Rosa: Outside of “Push Girls,” I like reruns. Especially of the “Golden Girls.” I love that show! It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen an episode, I laugh at the same jokes every time! The women on the show support one another and they’re the best of friends who have aged together. It’s beautiful.

MFM: What's the best way for our readers to learn more & stay in contact with you and your initiatives? 

Rosa: My Facebook page, Rosa Angelica Colon Ms. Wheelchair Massachusetts 2014 and, of course, through the Ms. Wheelchair MA foundation page as well. 

Hero of Hope: Remon Jourdan

A big thank you to the author, poet, and motivational artist Remon Jourdan for sharing his inspiring story with the Minutes for Memories team. Among his many accomplishments, Rey is the author of "Willie the Wheelchair," a children's book that delivers a powerful message: differences are things to be celebrated. To learn more about Rey, check out our exclusive interview with him below and don't forget to visit his website Reyality.com... 

MFM: Can you give us a little background about yourself?

Rey: I was born and raised in Cambridge, Massachusetts. At an early age I had a love for music and poetry and that guided me to going to a choir school as a child. From 5^th grade to 8^th grade I was at the Boston Archdiocesan Choir School in Harvard Square. I learned about classical music, I played the piano, and I had the opportunity to sing with the Boston Symphony Orchestra. My English teacher there catapulted my love of poetry by giving me my first poetry book, “The Raven” by Edgar Allen Poe.  I like to use the same type of visualization that Edgar uses in my poetry, too; he really makes you feel the words. I then went to BC High and eventually graduated from UMass Amherst with an Education major and a Music Appreciation minor. Music and poetry have always been staples in my life.

A few years after college, I finally found my dream job. I was about to become a coordinator of music for weddings. I was really excited to have found a job that would involve my love of music. The weekend before I was about to start the job I was in a car accident and sustained a C4/C5 complete spinal cord injury and became paralyzed from the collarbone down. Unfortunately, I never actually ended up being able to accept that job. 

MFM: What inspired you to write "Willie the Wheelchair?" 

Rey: My daughter was 1 year old when I had my accident and I was always trying to find ways to communicate to her what had happened and what I was dealing with. I thought writing a children’s book would be the best way to do that. Writing had always been a major part of my life and I had written short stories and other things before.

When I completed the book she was 7 years old. At that age, I thought she was ready to understand what the book was about and to take the tools it offered her to communicate it’s meaning to her friends and others. My daughter loved the book. I had her okay all of the pictures in the book too so it was really a team effort.

MFM: Do you have any poems you have written you could share with us? The one you recited at the 2014 Ms. Wheelchair Massachusetts competition was a really powerful piece. 

Rey: Sure, here is my poem entitled "A Better Place."

I can’t explain how I felt waking up in the hospital

Thinking this can’t be possible

I was just driving home, and I must’ve dozed

Because now I’m lying here with tubes in my mouth, tubes in my nose

And it just goes to show, to live life to the fullest

Because none of us really knows where life’s going to put us

And trust me I was hoping it was all a dream

But I kept waking up to the sound of my breathing machine

Three months in a medical ward specializing in spinal cord

A place without insurance, I could never afford

Doctors saying that I may never walk again

And how it's just a new beginning; and that it’s not the end

But it really was the end of my life, as I once knew it

I can’t change the past, and I've learned to live through it

It’s a reality that throughout life we all come to lose a lot

But you might gain a better parking spot

MFM: I see that you are involved with Easter Seals. How has this organization impacted you and how do you stay involved? 

Rey: A year after my accident, I started to think about getting back to my loves – poetry and writing. I realized it was going to be difficult with limited use of my arms. In looking for assisted technology, any means that could help me get my ideas down, someone introduced me to Easter Seals. Their Assistive Technology Department had software, mainly the Dragon Dictate Speaking, I could speak into and it would write my thoughts down. That was exactly what I needed to continue with my poetry and writing.

Easter Seals even set up all the environmental controls for me at home; remotes to things in my room, to the TV, the lights, the telephone so I could pick up and make calls, the AC, pretty much anything that used infrared around me they gave me access to with my remote. They were instrumental in making my environment and my life become more independent. They really gave me freedom during that time. I didn’t want to feel like a burden to people and they freed me up from those worries. That gave me a sense of independence I thought I had lost. 

I actually spent 4 years as a member of the Regional Board at Easter Seals. Currently, I’m an ambassador, going to different events and talking about Easter Seals to new members. They had a huge impact on me and I’m trying to pay it forward.

MFM: After the accident, what was one of the biggest challenges you faced and how did you overcome it? 

Rey: I would say the biggest challenge was regaining my independence. There was a lot of self-reflection to get to where I’m at. I had to just get out and try to regain some sense of normalcy. I had to push myself to do things even though I needed assistance. I had to learn to accept assistance from people and accept that there were some things I would always need assistance with and become okay with that. In finally accepting my new journey and where I was in life, moving forward from there and embracing everything that came with the new journey, that’s how I overcame it.

MFM: What advice would you give someone who has sustained a traumatic injury?

Rey: I would definitely say don’t be afraid to ask for help, don’t be afraid to make mistakes, and, most importantly, don’t blame yourself for things that are beyond your control. I think that blaming myself for the accident and other things I had no control over was something that really held me back from progressing. Anything beyond your control, you shouldn’t dwell on.

MFM: Who is your Hero of Hope and how has he/she impacted you?

Rey: I have a few of them actually. The first person would be my daughter, Nerissa. She basically didn’t see anything different with me. Her vision of me was something that gave me strength.

Next, would be my mom and sister who opened their homes to me and gave me support throughout my journey. Along with my friends, my mom and my sister showed me that even though I needed some assistance, I should never feel afraid to ask for it. 

Finally, Adriana Mallozzi. She was on the board with me at Easter Seals for 4 years. She is what I call a “kick-in-the-butt person.” She doesn’t see any type of limitation. She says, “alright, it might be hard to get there, but it can be done.” She always gave me the extra boost that I needed to overcome any challenges that arose and get done whatever I needed to. I call her my Unofficial Manager since she always helps me see what I need to do to succeed.

MFM: What do you like to do in your free time? 

Rey: First and foremost, hang out with my daughter. I also like to write in my free time, which doesn’t sound right, but it’s something I like to do! I love to listen to music, go to concerts, read books, and watch movies, especially SciFi’s which are my favorite.

MFM: What's your success quote?

Rey: “I keep moving even when I sit still.” 

It’s my website quote, my mantra, my everything. It tells me to keep moving even when things seemingly prevent you from going forward; keep moving and you’ll find a way.

MFM: Other than Willie the Wheelchair, which is a book I definitely recommend, what book would you recommend for us?

Rey: The book I'd like to recommend is "How We Roll" by Tim Wambach.

MFM: What musician or song is most played on your iTunes?

Rey: I listen to everything so it would be hard to pinpoint one group.

You know what, I’m going to check my iTunes right now and see what’s number 1 on most played….alright, it’s a song called “Hold On” by Stacy Clark. It’s an awesome song that’s been really helpful since my accident. It’s about holding on tight to what keeps you strong and helps you move forward.

MFM: What's the best way for our readers to learn more & stay in contact with you and your initiatives?

Rey: My website is reyality.com. 

MFM: Rey, thank you so much for your time and sharing your story and talents. For all those interested in reading Willie the Wheelchair, you can purchase a copy here on Amazon. 

Hero of Hope: Reveca Torres

We recently had the pleasure of speaking with Reveca Torres, the founder of Backbones. The mission of Backbones is to provide free support for people with spinal cord injuries and their familes. Backbones connects people via telephone, in-person, and online meetup-ups and also hosts events where attendees can "ask questions, learn from each other informally, and make lasting friendships." 

Reveca has a truly inspiring story and it was a pleasure to hear it first-hand. Check out our exclusive MFM interivew with Reveca Torres below...

MFM: Can you give us a little background about yourself?

Reveca: I come from a family of 6 kids and we live in the Chicago area. Every year, my family would visit Mexico to see my grandmother and other family.  On New Years Eve when I was only 13, I was injured in a car accident while on our vacation in Mexico. I sustained a C5/C6 spinal cord injury in the accident.

I had always wanted to get into Fashion Design but after my injury, I didn’t think that I could since my injury affects the movement of my hands. One day in high school, I met a teacher who ran a fashion program and I commented that I always wanted to do design but didn’t think it would be possible. She told me she had a sewing machine that can be operated with the push of a button and suggested we meet over lunch. The next day, I had lunch in her classroom and she taught me how to sew - pretty much, I never took a lunch in the cafeteria after that because I would always go to her classroom.  That was amazing for me…it opened up a lot. I realized I could do exactly what I wanted to do; I just needed to adapt.

After high school, I went to school for fashion design. I was the first one at my college with a physical disability to be in that program so they had a lot of learning to do as well, especially with accommodations. In the program, I was able to be a part of the fashion shows, make collections for the shows, participate in design competitions, and it made me feel really good. I was competing with other people who were excellent designers and I felt like I was doing exactly what I wanted to do, and I was doing it well.

I also got to go to Paris with the program which was something so eye opening for me because I hadn’t traveled much after my injury. People initially said “no” about me going to Paris, but I refused to accept that. I did research and found it was possible and didn’t stop until it happened. Paris was a place I always wanted to visit to see the fashion and art. After Paris, I was like, “okay…I can do this.” I got the travel bug and I ended up doing another exchange program in England for performance art. The program was with Mobility International USA, which takes students with disabilities abroad to give them experiences of travelling. Going to England was the first time I had really traveled on my own, I found a caregiver that wasn’t family, which was a first for me as well. I learned so much about myself in England… about independence and being in charge of my own care. I came back from the trip and knew I could do anything. I knew I could go away, live on my own, and live independently.

MFM: Can you tell us about your non-profit, Backbones, and how it got started? 

Reveca: Backbones has been sort of an accumulation of everything I’ve learned along the way working for different non-profits. It was started because I was fundraising to get some money to go to Project Walk, a recovery center in California for people with spinal cord injuries. Going to Project Walk was not something that was covered by insurance so friends and family helped me raise money.  We named our fundraising campaign Backbones because we wanted something that stands for strength and support.

After the campaign, I was thinking about how much it helped me to meet other people with spinal cord injuries – people I didn’t really meet until college and after. It made a big difference knowing others that were going through the same thing I was; finding out about the sports they played, the way they transfer in and out of their chair and all the things you don’t learn in rehab or from the doctors or therapists. Meeting them made a huge impact on my confidence. I started trying sports, I got a little more comfortable putting my self out there with dating and other things. So we decided to turn Backbones into 1 x 1 peer support to match and connect people up with a similar injury, interests, and backgrounds. Through Backbones, you have someone to talk to and share stories with; you can support each other.

MFM: I see you were just in NYC with Backbones, what was going on there?

Reveca: We were just in Manhattan exhibiting “Reinventing the Wheel” a project that has been in the back of my mind since the beginning and has evolved all along the way. With our fundraising campaign, we wanted positive and encouraging images of people with spinal cord injuries on the website. We did a Google search and there were all these images up there of people with injuries being either really sick and depressed or with their arms up in the air and the sunset in the background. Neither of these are real.  A few photographers donated their time to help us create the images we wanted. It really stuck in my head that there are no real images out there. When I started working with the National Museum of Health and Medicine on some disability related exhibits, they got really excited about what I was doing with the pictures. We started researching, found friends of friends, hired some photographers on Craigslist, and found people from all over the country with injuries, some of whom I haven’t even met yet. Reinventing the Wheel launched in the Summer of 2013 with 21 stories of individuals told through over 150 real images. The project is based in Chicago and so far we have been to NYC, with plans to go to LA, San Francisco, Portland, Salt Lake City, and more. I’m hoping to hit the cities where each of the 21 individuals featured lives. 

MFM: Running Backbones must keep you busy, when you have free time, what do you like to do?

Reveca: I’m really, really into yoga. For a lot of reasons I feel like it has changed my life, physically and emotionally. I started it around the same time I started Backbones and it’s really made a big difference in how I feel. I also love sewing, drawing and painting. Pretty much anything that’s artsy, I like to do.

MFM: After the accident, what was one of the biggest challenges you faced and how did you overcome it? 

Reveca: After the accident, what was hardest was coming home after 4 months in the hospital. In the hospital, you’re focused on rehab and everything else that’s going on. Going home, it was difficult being in my environment that I was so familiar with and that was now completely different. That was the biggest adjustment initially. Along the way, I kept growing and learning to adapt. There are always times that are tough but I had family and friends that made that transitions a bit easier.

However, I do wish I had someone closer in age to me who had gone through the same thing…someone who understood and could answer the questions I had. I did get introduced to others through the hospital, but a lot of people who have SCI are men and a lot older than 13 so it wasn’t always a great match. I recall one gentleman in his late 50s that came to visit me and, although he was very nice and helpful, there wasn’t much I had in common with him. This is a gap Backbones is trying to fill.

MFM: What advice would you give someone who has sustained a traumatic injury?

Reveca: My advice is to seek out others with injuries and learn as much as you can. I always had the support from family and friends but, at first, I denied that I was a person with a disability. I didn’t want to accept it or associate myself with it. When I did start meeting others though, it was such a great experience and made me feel so much better.

MFM: Who is your Hero of Hope and how has he/she impacted you?

Reveca: There are people all along the way in life that are heroes; they may not be “heroes” in the traditional sense, but they make a big impact in your life. There are a few people I’d consider my Heroes of Hope. First, my family has always has been there and has never treated me any differently because of what happened. I was still expected to go to school, get an education, get a job and do all the same things as my other siblings. Having that not change is something that has really played a big role in my life.

Second, the teacher I mentioned earlier that taught me how to sew has definitely been a hero along the way. It was a scary thing for me to start a non-profit. My background is in the arts and I was scared I wouldn’t have the time to do my art artwork, make clothing, make designs, and so on. I went to her in tears because I wasn’t sure what to do and she said, “You’re a creative person and you’re going to bring your creativity to whatever you do. You have the opportunity here to use arts and creative outlets to give it meaning.” Listening to her, I was like, “You’re right!”

Next, a friend with an organization called Imerman Angels has been such a guide, especially with how to run a non- profit. I went to a fashion show once which actually turned out to be a benefit for Immerman Angels. I got a card there and read how they pair up cancer fighters with cancer survivors of similar ages. I went on the website and was obsessed with the organization and thought it would be a great model for people with SCI too. For 3 months I was obsessed with the site and the concept. Finally, I got the courage to give Immerman a call and he was so helpful and really encouraged me to start Backbones.

MFM: What's your favorite quote?

Reveca: I heard this quote in a movie once and I immediately wrote it down: “You still are what you have lost.”

After an injury, it’s easy to think, “I used to be this or I used to be that…” There’s a big feeling of loss. This quote though reassures you that you are still that person, you still experienced those things, and you still can experience those things. I used to be a runner and I am still a runner. I used to be a dancer and I am still a dancer. And it makes me feel good to know that.

MFM: What's your favorite food?

Reveca: Well I love Mexican food and Thai food. My favorite are these things called “sopes.”  They’re made from the same kind of dough as a tortilla and it’s a little dish with beans, chickens, hot sauce, salsa and all sorts of yummy stuff on it.

MFM: Cubs or White Sox?

Reveca: Cubs. I have a big family and while all my brothers are White Sox fans, me and my sister are Cubs fans because we like their uniforms better…I suppose that’s the fashion designer in me!

MFM: Do you have a book you would recommend for us?

Reveca: The last book I read was by a friend of mine named Jerry McGill. It’s called “Dear Marcus: A Letter to the Man Who Shot Me.” When Jerry was 13 years old, he was shot on New Years and sustained a spinal cord injury. They never caught the guy who shot him. I’ve been friends with him for years but I never really knew his story until the book. Reading it, I realized we have a lot of similarities - I was also injured at 13 years old on New Years… the accident happened because another car pushed ours off the road but they drove away so I’ll never know who it was either.

MFM: What song/band is most played on your iTunes?

Reveca: This is a hard one because I love music. I think I would say the most played is “ The Avett Brothers.” They play a bluegrassy type of music.

MFM: What's the best way for our readers to learn more & stay in contact with you and Backbones?

Reveca: Through our website (backbonesonline.com) and social media, a lot of our communication happens through Facebook and Twitter. Our webpage has info on upcoming events in different cities. We also feature stories, newsletters, and all sorts of fun stuff for people to read.

Hero of Hope: Nicole Tarzia

On Saturday December 28th, Nicole Tarzia, Ms. Wheelchair Massachusetts 2013, gave us over an hour of her time to get to know her. Check out our exclusive interview below to meet Nicole and learn about everything from her favorite song to how it felt to win the Ms. Wheelchair MA crown!

MFM: Can you give us a little background about yourself?

Nicole: I was born 28 weeks premature and was diagnosed with quadriplegic spastic cerebral palsy at 6 months old. The doctors told my parents I would never walk, talk, sit up, or have an IQ above 50 but my parents refused to believe that. They committed to doing everything in their power to help me live as independently as possible. As one example, I was the first person in my elementary school to have a physical disability, and my parents fought tooth and nail to make it happen. The school wasn’t handicap accessible so they built a ramp in the back by the boiler room so I could get into the school.

Nicole in a Populi Plus AdMy mom decided she wanted to put me in all different kinds of activities to find out who I was and what was important to me. I was in drama, I rode horsebacks for 9 years, and I modeled since I was 9 years old. I really enjoyed the modeling and have been doing that now for years. Recently, one of my friends opened up a chain of handbag stores in Indonesia, called Populi Plus, and has me as a cover model for her handbag stores. Disabilities aren’t necessarily accepted in Indonesia and she wanted me to prove that disabilities are beautiful and cannot stop you from living your life. My friend is breaking down stereotypes and I love being a part of that and taking this message globally.

On top of that, I graduated from Bridgewater State University, have a Masters in Clinical Therapy from Simmons, and will be starting my PhD in School Adjustment Counseling in July 2014 at UMASS Boston. I also own two businesses so I definitely keep myself pretty busy.

This is normal, and this is me. My father always said, “let them see Nicole first and the disability second. I had high expectations for myself and, with a disability or with out, this is how I would be living my life.

MFM: You’re currently Ms. Wheelchair Massachusetts 2013, can you tell us about the competition?

Nicole: Ms. Wheelchair Massachusetts is an advocacy program for individuals between 21-60 and, unlike in traditional beauty pageants, you’re judged completely on your accomplishments and on your ability to advocate for people with disabilities. My platform that I ran on is “Advocate, Educate, Empower.” Essentially, it’s about teaching everyone to understand and not fear disabilities. Having a disability is all about dialogue; I want kids especially to not fear a disability and to have a chance to ask questions and see the things I can do every day that they do. 

In July, I competed for Ms. Wheelchair America and came in second runner up out of 28 girls from all around the country. Ms. Wheelchair has changed my life because it has taught me to be a better advocate and understand other peoples’ disabilities and not just my own. It taught me how to be a voice for people who might not vocalize their needs and wants themselves. I’ve been able to speak to everyone from children in schools to politicians in government offices and spread awareness about disabilities. It’s been an incredible experience.  

Nicole with Little Ms. Wheelchair MassachusettsThe story of how I got involved with Ms. Wheelchair begins with my grandfather, Knute. My grandfather, who was literally my best friend growing up, had meningitis and was in a wheelchair for 3 years. He was my confidante. With him, I could talk about my disability without fear or judgment. From a very young age, he would tell me, “you were given a disability for a reason and you have a gift… you have a personality to advocate for others.”

I’ve always wanted to live my legacy for him and everything I do is in his spirit. When my rehab tech told me of the competition, I thought grandpa would have wanted me to do it; he would tell me it’s my way to show the world everything he taught me. I won the title for myself and I won it for him too. At my last event in November, I spoke to the 10^th graders at Holy Family School in Rockland, the church my grandparents attended. I felt like I was coming back full circle…that I had honored them and what they had taught me.

MFM: How did it feel to win the crown?

Nicole: It was surreal. I really went in there not expecting to win at all. I had competed in pageants in the past, but I knew this was a different ballgame since I was being judged purely on my accomplishments and there are a ton of women out there doing amazing things.

When they announced my name, I was waiting for the girl to go up and get the crown and they were like no it’s you! The look on my face was pure shock. It was one of the most memorable moments of my life that I will never forget. It was an awesome feeling to think that for the next year I can be the voice and the advocate. Even when I give up this crown this year, it will definitely be sad, but my advocacy will continue. This year has been unforgettable and has changed my life and I’ll cherish every moment and person I’ve met along the way.  

MFM: What is one of the biggest challenges you have faced and how did you overcome it? 

Nicole: Well, I don’t like being told no and I don’t like being told that I can’t do something. I have a full belief that you can overcome anything in life with a little bit of adaptation. When I was young, I saw the Ms. America beauty pageants on TV and I told my mom that’s what I wanted to do. My mom said, “Okay, if that’s what you want to do, we’re going to do it.” My mom sent around a few headshots of me, not showing my wheelchair, to pageants and we got callbacks asking me to participate. They told my mom I was gorgeous and they would love to have me, but when my mom mentioned that I had a disability, they said “absolutely not!” The first 2 places said, “she cant talk or walk like the other girls, she can’t compete with them because it won’t be a fair playing field for her, there’s no way it’s going to happen.” When my mom told me, she asked if I wanted to keep trying and I said absolutely. We kept going and going until we found a place that said, “yes, a disability is not a big deal at all.” I went on to compete in almost 200 pageants and got some sort of award in about 86 of them.

My ability to overcome has come from the fact that I don’t want to be told no. I will be told there is not a way right now, but we will find a way.

MFM: What advice would you give someone who has sustained a traumatic injury?

Nicole: My biggest advice is to find a support person. I have a family and friends that are fantastic. I actively surround myself with people who support me. I have my days where my disability wears on me and I think “why me?” but I’m lucky enough to have a really, really strong support system. They’re people that love me and will accept me on my worst days, my best days, and every day in between. If you isolate yourself and don’t allow people to be there for you, you’ll cut yourself off from the world.

My older brother is my rock and he is literally the one person I go to with everything. He will never get sick of giving me brotherly advice and I think that’s what everyone with a disability needs. It doesn’t matter how strong you are on your own. Sometimes I have a really bad day and I need someone to vent to and other times I have a really awesome day and need someone to share that with. I am lucky that my support person is within my family, but they don’t have to be. It can be some one you work with, go to school with, a childhood friend, and so on. It might be someone who also has a disability and knows exactly what you’re going through, or it might be someone without a disability at all. There are no limits to who it’s going to be and you might even find them in the places you least expected.

MFM: Who is your Hero of Hope and how has he/she impacted you?

Nicole with her grandfather, KnuteNicole: Although he’s no longer with us, my grandfather I mentioned before remains a very strong influence. He was my best friend in the entire world. I could talk to him about nothing and everything all at the same time. He taught me so much about life and about myself. He taught me to not let the horrible days get me down, to always be thankful for everything I have.  He said that you’re not going to be given a disability if you’re not strong enough to handle it, and that I am definitely a strong enough person to handle it. He is my hero in a lot of different ways…he was a mentor, a role model, and, first and foremost, an awesome grandfather. I can even see pieces of my grandfather in my brother. A lot of the advice my brother gives me is exactly what my grandfather would have said, that’s one way I can still feel him here with me.

Nicole and her memorial tattoo for her grandfather

One of the first things I did when I got crowned was to go put my crown and sash on his gravestone; I told him that my accomplishments in this world are for him. As crazy as it might sound, I honestly still talk to him… before I speak at an event, I say a prayer to him and ask him to help me give those I’m speaking to the same strength and wisdom he gave me. That’s what keeps me going. No matter what I do I take a little piece of him with me. I have his wedding ring on a necklace, which I wore for the Ms.Wheelchair America Competition, and I have a memorial tattoo for him on my wrist, which I look down at whenever I need strength.

MFM: Now for our Lightning Round, we’ll ask you a few quick questions and you can come back at us with quick answers, ready? What’s your success quote? 

Nicole: “I concentrate on the 10,000 things that I can do and not the 10,000 things I can’t.”

-Knute, my grandfather.

MFM: What is your favorite food?

Nicole: I’m Italian so it’s raviolis for sure.

MFM: What book would you recommend for us?

Nicole: “Willie the Wheelchair,” by Remon Jourdan. My platform revolves around children and this is a children’s book I’ve probably read about 19 times since I won Ms. Wheelchair MA and have never gotten sick of. It’s about a wheelchair that realizes he’s different from the other chairs and it’s such a great book about acceptance. I actually got to meet Remon recently in Boston and he signed a book for me. Honestly, I cried like a baby for at least 5 minutes, I was meeting my hero! Remon is one of those people who I have been able to look up to; he’s helped me see that having a disability is something to be proud of and something I can overcome.

Nicole and her big brother ScottMFM: What song is most played on your iTunes?

Nicole: Well, I am actually in the process of learning Spanish so I listen to a lot of Spanish music. One song I listen to a lot is “Corzon Sin Cara,” by Prince Royce.  It has a great message about understanding who you are and that beauty is much more than skin deep. I think I annoy my friends and family with it because I play it over and over and it’s even a ring tone I use for an alarm on my phone! They all knock the song and laugh at the way I try to roll my R’s but it’s still one of my favorites! But I guess I do have to admit, it really does sound like I’m choking on popcorn when I try to roll my R’s!

MFM: Finally, what’s the best way for our readers to get in contact with you?

Nicole: They can email me at mswheelchairmass13@gmail.com, Facebook me, or call me at 781-826-3565. Anyone who wants to, please reach out anytime! 

Hero of Hope: Malala Yousafzai

The Story:

Malala Yousafzai was born on July 12, 1997 in Pakistan’s Swat Valley. Malala’s father, Ziauddin, a poet, school owner, and educational activist, taught her the value of an education at an early age. Considering her something “entirely special,” Ziauddin often let Malala stay up late at night to discuss life and politics, long after her two brothers went to bed.

In 2008, radical Taliban militants began to take infiltrate the Swat Valley. Forcing their ultra-conservative views on the society, they banned television, music, girls’ education, and forbade women from leaving the home without a male companion. They killed anyone who challenged their rule and set about blowing up hundreds of schools for girls. Incited by the injustice around her, Malala began writing a blog for the BBC detailing the horrors of life under the Taliban. She was inspired by her father’s activism and soon began to take on a more public role herself. She stopped using a pseudonym to protect her identity and, bravely, took a stand for girls’ education as Malala Yousafzai. Encouraged by her efforts, South African activist Desmond Tutu nominated her for the International Children’s Peace Prize saying, “Malala dared to stand up for herself and other girls and used national and international media to let the world know girls should also have the right to go to school.”

Despite multiple death threats at home, Malala refused to be silenced and continued going to school. On October 9, 2012, 15-year-old Malala was on a bus ride home from school with her classmates when a masked gunman stopped and boarded the bus. “Who is Malala?” the Taliban’s assassin demanded. At point blank range, he shot 3 bullets at Malala. One struck her in the forehead, tore through her eardrum, severed the nerve in her face, and lodged in her shoulder near her spine. 

The Inspiration:

The school bus rushed to the local hospital but it was only equipped with basic first aid supplies. 2 long hours passed before a helicopter could transfer Malala to a military doctor who attempted to save her life with a 5-hour operation. She fought off a severe infection, survived a plane ride to state-of-the-art facilities in England, and finally awoke from a 7-day coma. As one of Malala’s doctors, Dr. Javid Kayani, comments, “The fact that she didn’t die on the spot or very soon thereafter is to my mind nothing short of miraculous.”

Malala continued to fight. She fought to relearn to walk. She fought to relearn to smile and laugh, as the severed nerve paralyzed her face. She endured additional surgeries and learned to cope with the trauma of the attack. On her 16^th birthday, Malala showed the world her resolve when she spoke at the United Nations, declaring, “I am the same Malala.” “Let us pick up our books and our pens,” she urged the audience, “they are our most powerful weapons; education is the only solution.” Malala refused to let the attack silence her or her cause. She fought through her recovery and courageously chose to carry forward as an education activist, a spokeswoman of peace, and a beacon of hope for the world. 

Learn More:

Check out the below video to watch Diane Sawyer’s 20/20 special on Malala, “Unbreakable: One Girl Changing the World.” Also, read through some of the articles linked below to learn more about this amazing, inspiring girl that has been referred to as “Pakistan’s Mother Theresa.”

Breaking News

Articles:

• Michel Martin, NPR: "Malala Yousafzai: A 'Normal,' Yet Powerful Girl."
• Anup Kaphle, The Washington Post: "Malala Yousafzai speaks defiantly in support of education for girls around the world."
• Adam Ellick, The New York Times: "My 'Small Video Star' Fights for Her Life"
• Brian Jones, Business Insider: "16-year-old Malala Yousafzai Leaves John Stewart Speechless with Comment about Pacifism." (with video of Malala on Stewart's Daily Show)

For more, click the below picture of Malala’s book to purchase it on Amazon... If you have a chance to read it, post a comment and let us know what you think!